I Know I Am In Here Somewhere!

Proverbs 3:6 " In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. " KJV

click here for Francesca Battistelli's Song "This Is The Stuff" My song of the day


There are days when I can hear my grandmother telling me that if I didn't have my head connected to my body, I would lose it. You would think that after fifty plus years, I would have the ability to keep my wits about me. I am, and always have been, a bit of a scatter brain. I have notes to remind me of where my notes are. This morning I was trying to clean the house up a little bit. I know. Shocking! But that being said, I was making an effort anyway. This is how my cleaning went. Go to kitchen. Turn on coffee maker. Go to laundry room where pantry is and find new coffee I bought. Notice that hermit crabs need water. Get container and head back into kitchen where I find the sink full of dishes. Set container aside and load and unload dish washer. Spill dish powder all over floor so go to laundry room for rag. Notice load of laundry was never switched over. Put clothes in dryer. Load the dirty tablecloth into the washer and decide I can put in some towels. Go to bathrooms to gather towels. In bathroom find the toilet paper rolls are empty so have to hunt down more paper. In the cabinet, I notice that the sheets are messed up so I organize the sheets again. Take dirty clothes from bathroom floor to youngest daughter's room and see that she has left a glass on her nightstand. Pick it up and head to kitchen where I notice that I spilled washing powder and never cleaned it up. Also notice that I never took the hermit crabs their water. Sigh. And so my morning begins.

I remember that I need to go to the bank and the post office. I jump in the car to get that done before youngest daughter has to go to school. My car keys aren't in my purse. Go back in house and make youngest daughter help me find keys. Find them under the bag of yard sale stuff on the couch. Wow. Silly me. How would I not know to look there first? Drive to bank, realizing that I didn't have my coffee yet. Get to bank and find they are closed because it's a holiday for a bunch of old guys. Double sigh. Back to house where I notice I didn't start the dishwasher, the dryer, or the washer. I am off to such a good start.

I sat down with my coffee (thanking my faithful Keurig machine) and pull out my devotion book. I remember that I missed last tuesdays  bible study and that I need to download the video from lifeway of Beth Moore's Daniel. (You can buy the sessions individually which works well for me because I usually have to miss at least one session) Pull up the computer, go to lifeway, buy the session and start the download. Thirty five minutes to completion. Well, I might as well check the banking, the credit card, my email and of course facebook. Two hours later, I haven't even started my devotion. I feel like such a failure. The day is more than halfway over and I have completed almost nothing. How do I let myself get into these messes? I try so hard to be organized. I once had a personal assistant. Those were the days. If things went wrong, it was her fault. But nothing ever went wrong. I am quite sure she thought I was a complete lunatic sometimes. My theory on things is that if I ignore it long enough, it will go away. That theory never works but I keep giving it the old college try.

What I am struggling to understand is that if I don't start my day by acknowledging God's Hand in this, my days will continue to be filled with chaos. If I give Him the first moments of the day, He gives me the ability to get things done. Obviously I still get up and start my day by making my own choices. And obviously I usually get nothing accomplished. I have also come to see that if I decide what these blogs are going to be about, He makes sure I never have time to write them. Let me assure you that I argued quite a bit about that particular item. My tantrum was a beautiful thing to behold. After my time out, I realized that I am not in charge. Not now. Not ever. This blog is His, my life is His, my children are His, my choices are His, my marriage is His and so on and so forth. Inch by inch, I am making progress. He is patient and loving. Plus I am quite sure He uses me as an example to the angels of a worst case scenario! At least they laugh in heaven. Because I hear it lour and clear everytime I try to take control.