"And I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ." Philemon 1:6
As I sat this morning contemplating what to read in the
Bible, I was led to Philemon. A small, seemingly insignificant chapter buried
in the New Testament. It is a letter from Paul to his friend Philemon, a
wealthy Christian friend. Some scholars believe that Philemon had sent a
servant, Onesimus, to visit Paul in prison; others believe that Onesimus had
run away and found himself in the same prison as Paul. Either way, he had
become a believer in Christ and now wanted to return home. Paul beseeches Philemon
to show kindness to Onesimus.
As I read through the words of Paul, it reminded me of some
situations in my own life. I have had loved ones who have disappointed me with
their actions. My first emotions are ones of anger and hurt. My humanity comes
into play as I point out their obvious mistakes, showering them with verbal
reminders of how much they hurt me. I list out their offenses, pointing out
everything they have ever done wrong. I bring the past into the present with
amazing clarity.
Yet instantly my words feel like gravel in my mouth. My own
sins of omission and intentional behavior come swirling around me, reminding me
of the times I have caused that same disappointment to those around me. What
did I want from them? What did I need from them? What did I, in my heart of
hearts, hope that they would do in the very moment I was walking back into
their lives? The words of Christ when He tells Peter that he must forgive
seventy times seven times fill every dark space in my mind. Has He not forgiven
me each and every time I have disappointed Him? Has He not wiped the slate
clean, letting me start fresh and new each morning? (Lamentations 3:23, Hebrews
8:12)
Paul tells Philemon to “help because you were willing, not
because you were forced” (vs 14) Oh how those words struck a chord deep in my
soul. How often have I been drug kicking and screaming into showing mercy to
someone I profess to love? How often have I given kindness so that I can point
to the kindness I gave as some sort of trophy for me to hold aloft? More than
once the words have left my mouth but the actions have never been from the
heart.
As I wrapped up my reading this morning, it occurred to me
that forgiveness isn’t just about the words you say to the person who has
offended you. It is a true and genuine feeling from your heart and soul that
lets the person know that you have truly moved past the moment and wiped the
slate clean. Just as Paul recognized that Onesimus was now a brother in Christ,
I need to remember that each of us has a role in God’s ultimate plan. It is not
up to me to decide what role people get to play. It is only up to me to love
and support them, lifting them when they fall, forgiving them when they
disappoint, and loving them in spite of what they do to hurt me. 
Dearest Adonai, thank You for your words that lifted my
heart this morning. I know that reading from Your Word each and every day will
fill all the dark spaces that are in my heart and mind. Let me never let go of
Your Light. Let me show Your Light to everyone I meet. Please remind me that if
I need You to forgive my every discretion, I must do the same to those who hurt
me. Every day is a new chance to worship You and share You with everyone I
meet. Let my first act today be to forgive those whose hurt I have been holding
on to. For until I do Your Will, I can’t move forward in Your Grace. In the
Name of Your Perfect Son, Christ Jesus, Amen
copyright2013 Michelle Welch, team member of Breath of Life Women's Ministries
photography by Michelle Welch, all rights reserved
scripture from NLT Bible, Tyndale House Publishers
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